margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
