Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
