Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
