I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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