I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
