So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
