We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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