According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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