I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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