I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
