Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
