did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
