she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
