I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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