the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize