Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
