dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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