To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
