i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
