im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
