her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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