5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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