i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
