a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
