Got a toothbrush?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
