so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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