I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
