I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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