Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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