On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
