There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize