You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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