The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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