i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is it because I queefed?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
