the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
