Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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