I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
