i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize