Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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