her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
