If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
