Ambien. No doubt about it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
