are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
