I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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