i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize