you have to choose: penises or morals?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
