Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
