I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
