so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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