we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
