People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
