Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
