I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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