I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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