don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
