all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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