if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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