So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
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