Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
