I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
