I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
