I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
