Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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